jiefo Blog

August 2023

It was about 4 months into my ankle/Achilles injury – I hadn’t exercised during that whole time, and I was very lackadaisical with my physical therapy rehab, thinking that time and my body would heal itself on its own like it always had with injuries in my high school through college years.

I quickly realized that it wasn’t going to be easy: this wasn’t a minor injury. I visited a proper physical therapist and had to relearn how to walk normally, as I had been developing bad habits for the past 4 months.

I also gained weight. I had spent a month in Taipei that summer and when hotpot is $5 and on every corner, it’s hard to not overindulge a little bit.

When I landed in Taipei for my gap year, I spontaneously visited a World Gym branch to look at their facilities. The head trainer insisted I did an in-body scan, and I complied. How bad of a shape could I possibly be in?

The numbers did not come up pretty. I was considered obese with a 27% body fat, (25%+ is obese for men, according to Penn Medicine). My BMI was in the overweight range and pushing close to obesity. I was 85 kg / 187 pounds in body weight at a height of 171.6cm (the 0.6 matters!). I just didn’t ever look that heavy because most of the weight goes to my stomach, and I began wearing more oversized t-shirts to hide the gut. 

I was, honestly, a bit incredulous – me, overweight? Had I not been taking care of my body properly? All of the gluttony and lack of moving my body hit me clearly in the face on this sheet of paper, as if a plea by my body begging me to take better care of it, shouting at me please love me better. I wasn’t sure if this head trainer was telling me I was obese as a sales tactic to make me sign up for a gym subscription or was laying down the facts for me in a candid way – but for some reason, I decided to not join the gym and instead as if to spite the entire World Gym franchise to prove that I didn’t need them to lose weight.

Fast forward to today, February 6 2024.

In the past 6 months I’ve decided to turn to self-love and self-care. I am now, officially, in the “normal” ranges for body fat. I’ve lost over 10kg (22.5 lbs) in body weight and am down roughly 10% body fat. But more important than achieving “regular” standard categorizations, I feel physically and mentally much better. I’ve taken physical therapy more seriously and spend a good 15 minutes at the gym every workout session doing functional mobility work. And I’ve also begun therapy for the spirit: through daily meditation and mindfulness in life. For one example, I’ve become more mindful while eating, actually chewing my food rather than engulfing it. 

The physical weight loss is a reminder to me of my mental willpower and the things I’ve overcome:

It is not easy to get up and workout every day even on days I am exhausted.

It is not easy to pick up heavy weights, pushing them to failure and pain.

It is not easy to relearn how to walk and use muscles that used to be second nature.

It is not easy to avoid overindulging on good affordable food in Taiwan.

It is not easy to miss friends and family and live alone in a new country while establishing a new routine and community.

It is not easy to face loneliness and heartbreak and the human condition of emotions.

It is not easy to be overweight.

It is not easy to not feel loved, especially from yourself.

My goal in this has never been to lift more weight, but mostly to feel better in my own body. Self-love is a constant journey, but I can confidently say that I am happy and feel the most proud of myself in a long time – AND the transformation is still only halfway complete! I can’t wait to keep pushing onwards. But for now, it’s time to give myself a break and enjoy the Lunar New Year. I’ll be visiting China for the first time since 2019, seeing family members I haven’t seen in 5 years. 

Wishing everyone a good year of the dragon!